Blogging isn’t always golden filters, and hot cups of coffee on marble surfaces. Blogging can get ugly, lonely, and become unsatisfying. Here’s the truth. The ugly truth.
This is something I never thought that I would actually write. When I first started Accidentally Adulting I had so many ideas, so many topics I wanted to write about. I used every spare moment I had to write a post or work on the website. I was so excited about Accidentally Adulting that I extended the platform to YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr. You name it, there’s an Accidentally Adulting platform on it. AA was a place for me to express myself, and get some of my feelings and opinions out. This was where I came to avoid stress, and all the decisions and choices, that I thought were making “adulting” so difficult.
Well, a lot has changed. Since Accidentally Adulting’s debut I’ve been very lucky to have a lot of success. The whole idea of Accidentally Adulting has struck a chord with many people, not just people in their 20’s but so many others who don’t necessarily fall within the Millennial generation. Now don’t get me wrong, I think that this is awesome! That’s exactly what I hoped for when I created this blog. I wanted to find people out there like me who I could commiserate with. I was sure that I wasn’t the only one who felt totally blindsided by the responsibilities, pressures, and decisions. So again, I am so happy that so many people personally identify with this feeling of stumbling through life.
However, recently I’ve felt a bit detached from AA. For a while, I brushed it off as writer’s block. I thought that I just didn’t have anything to say and that once I had a fresh new exciting idea, I would feel the way I did when I first logged into WordPress. I did get good ideas. They didn’t change anything. I haven’t been struggling with writer’s block. Accidentally Adulting no longer excites me the way it used to. I don’t have the motivation to come here and really dedicate myself to this site. Once I could admit that to myself I got really sad. I was confused because this was something that I created that I loved so much. And I just couldn’t understand why there was this sudden shift in the way I felt about it. So I took some time to really look at what I was doing and creating. I went through the motions and published a few more blog posts here and there. The moment I felt my drive slipping, or I felt that this was all too much, I’d step back and evaluate the situation.
Here’s what I learned: I was blogging for other people and not for myself.
Like I said earlier, Accidentally Adulting started getting a lot of attention; from bloggers, from public relations companies, and from brands. I began getting offers, and requests to work with various people and companies. As a person who reads blogs, I know that this is the kind of attention that many bloggers work so so hard for. So naturally I was thrilled–flattered even–to get the requests I was getting. And I wanted more. I aspired to grow my blog and essentially morph into the various blog giants that I had been obsessively reading *cough*AspynOvard*cough*. So I would scour the internet searching for tips and tricks to grow my site. At first, this was all fun. I enjoyed learning, and implementing what I learned, and watching it really work. But I soon realized that I was obsessing over growing my site, about creating a specific aesthetic, and projecting a specific image. And I was accepting jobs and collaborations with companies that I didn’t care about at all.
Do you know how hard it is to write enthusiastically about something you literally don’t give a shit about? Spoiler alert: it’s really fucking hard.
And I was doing just that. Over, and over again. It was so draining that I subconsciously began associating Accidentally Adulting with this grueling painstaking process. I would literally feel anxious whenever I logged into Accidentally Adulting’s Gmail. And all this research that it took to grow my site, it was all too much! There are a thousand posts on the same topic, all written in a way to make you think the author is super down to earth, and only wants the best for you. Which is just complete and utter bullshit. And then there are a trillion more blog posts all about the mistakes you’re making with your blog because you haven’t purchased a specific product yet. And you guys, I’m just done. I’m over it.
I’m going to keep writing here. I love Accidentally Adulting. I’m happy I took the time to figure out that the problem wasn’t with Accidentally Adulting, it’s with me and the way I approached Accidentally Adulting. So now my approach will be way different. I’m going to create the way I did when I first started. That doesn’t mean I won’t promote products here, or include affiliate links. But I will literally only write about products that I have actually used, have a connection to, and really really really love. And I won’t be writing about products or companies nearly as much as I have been. Instead, I’m going to document my life experiences here. I’m going to document trips I take, things I’ve done, and any personal advice I have.
I already feel so much happier about this decision. And I’m starting to feel genuinely excited about this site again.
Let me know in the comments below if you’ve felt this way about your site, and what steps you took to overcome that feeling!